In general, the self has the tendency to attribute the mistakes to others and not accept them as its own responsibility. The one who yields to him/her self, thinks that it is always the other person who is the reason of the troubles he experiences. In relationships within work, family, between friends, that is to say in every conflict, people believe that it is the opposite side that causes problems. Our inner selves may cause us to think ‘’I have the utmost best intentions, and yet every time, I am the one who is treated unjustly.’’ If one listens to him/her self, one may delude himself with such thoughts. One may believe that he is never understood, that he can not explain himself, his thoughts, his will and what he wishes to say. At the same time, he can not realize his own deficiencies and mistakes. Consequently, for him, realizing his mistakes and making up for his deficiency will be beyond the bounds of possibility. If someone thinks that he is treated unjustly and believes that others are always accountable for the matters, then his evaluations of these will be shallow. Furthermore, he may react hastily, poorly, unreasonably, emotionally and above all, in a manner that does not suit the morality of the Quran. Because he can not evaluate the situation he is in reasonably and logically, he may accuse people around him of unusual things. He will be in a mood that adopts negative attitudes to himself and his friends. And it will not be possible for him to adopt an attitude full of love and beauty towards other people, an attitude that makes people feel his love sincerely, if he continues to accuse people, believe that he is unjustly treated, evulate matters unreasonably, make all of this an obsession. Even if this type of person, does not say a word, his being will give off his negative manner.
If the person does not practice the moral instructions of the Quran, and does not have a deep belief, he will get the notion that he will live quite long in this world, without having any knowledge of it. Although he will see hundreds of examples of death, as required for the mystery of the trial, there will also be so many details that will make him forget this reality and drift into blindness against this clear fact. Allah has created the world separately, one for every individual, and also a unique fate for each of them. Because there are examples of people who live long, it does not mean that we will live long too. Everyone’s destiny is different. Everyone has an uniquely ultimate ending. Everyone will turn back to Allah, the Supreme, the Eternal and the Ever-existent. And people, one by one, are being tried according to their specific fates independent of each other. Consequently, we should not shake our good intentions with minor logical errors like; ‘’I have always treated people well, assumed an humble attitude, disclaimed my rights by being patient, and the turn is now theirs.”
A muslim resigns himself to Allah, in any condition, and shows patience for (consent of) Allah. And he does this for life, eagerly and delightfully. He never concedes from showing good morality. At every time, he will choose what is appropriate and good in behavior for the consent of Allah. He never forgets he will be returned to Allah, give accounts of his deeds on his own, and will not share his account with anyone. No one will bear the responsibilty for him, nor will his good deeds that are devoted to Allah be shared with anyone. Only he, himself, will be held accountable for what he did.
No burden-bearer can bear another’s burden. If someone weighed down calls for help to bear his load, none of it will be borne for him, even by his next of kin. You can only warn those who fear their Lord in the Unseen and establish salat. Whoever is purified, is purified for himself alone. Allah is your final destination. (Surat Al Fatir 18)
Moreover one should not tend to provide his justice by himself, but should submit himself to the Justice of Allah. People who think that events happen by chance and far from the predestination of Allah (Allah is beyond this), have the inclination to provide their own justice themselves. This is actually a sign of blindness he is in. This kind of person is far from living the morality of Islam and putting his/her trust in Allah, which is resigning himself to the destiny that Allah created for him.. The idea of placing reliance in Allah and destiny will bring him a total submission and belief to Allah. In a contrary situation, he will lead a distressed life and he will turn into an ordinary being. He will turn into a person who is forgetful of the trial in this world, unwary, ignorant, changeable, and unaware of paradise, and far from rationality, one who will forget the value of love, loyalty, and devotion; in short he will lose his humanistic features.
Since not resigning himself to destiny, will lead one to a reasoning that is produced by him/her self and make him far from justice,it may cause him to make a big deal out of a trivial matter and will cause him to do injustice to others by yielding to his anger. The self will make one tend to externalize impulsive actions, when it encounters an arduous situation.
With one’s self, there may have been impulses like picking a quarrel, making a furious explanation, getting angry, blazing and so on. The self, which is in the same side with satan, will make you estranged from reasonable thinking. Whereas, in a human, conscience, reason, and fear of Allah will develop a strong and beautiful control mechanism. Formation of emotions like this, in the self, will not necessisate to abandon oneself to them. The differences between a fearer of Allah and the one who fears not, distinguishes themselves at this point. Allah commands us in Quran, 134th verse of Surat Al-Imran;
‘’Those who give in times of both ease and hardship, those who control their rage and pardon other people – Allah loves the good-doers –‘’
One who believes in Allah behaves reasonably by fearing Him. A muslim stays away from these kinds of games which will besmear him spiritually. He will think awhile and make his choice in favor of the truth and the beautiful. On the other hand, the contrary will bring no benefit, either spiritual or material. Obeying the wishes of the self will bring one a loss both in the afterlife and in this world. On the other hand, the one who ponders on destiny, resigns him/her self to the destiny of Allah, and behaves according to the morality of the Quran, will rise and soar spiritually. His belief will be even stronger.
No one should forget that everyone will be held responsible for their actions. It is not a pretext for someone to adopt the same negative manner with the one who is unaware. One chooses his own way. A believer has the strength to exhibit mature and conscious manners, and to say appropriate words that are suitable to the Quran.