Imagine a 'very good and ideal person' that you want the people around you to be. And become a person just like that.

There is a "model of a good and ideal person" in everyone's mind. He wants to see that model in every person he spends time and be friends with.  However the point he does not dwell on much is that "the people around him might as well be looking for the same ideal model".  

Everyone would like the other to be a very understanding, mature, stable, consistent, solid, faithful and honest person. One would want the other never to get angry, never to say offensive words, to assume a humble character, show patience, be forgiving and tolerant.  He would want the other to never leave him alone in difficult times, to do whatever he can do to help him but never to implicate, to be very self-sacrificing and to deprive himself if necessary, without ever thinking.  He would want the other person to be the utmost wise, conscientious, fair, compassionate, compliable, sincere, to be sweet talking with nice manners, to be able to see the details, to be able to put himself in another's place and think, and to be understanding.  He would want the other to give the priority not to himself but always to the one he loves, he would want him to place the happiness, peace, ease, comfort and desires of the ones he loves above his own.  He would want him not to be after being right, but after his loved ones' being right. He would want him not to be after protecting his own pride, his egocentricity but to have a morality that would give the others prominence and honor them.  

A believer or not, there is such a search of a perfect person in the soul of everyone. However most of the time, he falls into the error of assuming that he is the only one in such an expectation.  He doesn't think much on the fact that all the other people in the world might as well be in the same search of similar features in people around them.  However just like his own expectations, the people around him are also expecting exactly the same moral features from him.  

But due to the selfish passion of lower self –people who do not think about the morality of the Qur'an as they ought to- only attach importance to their own expectations. They do not think on the fact that for values like mutual love, respect, friendship, intimacy, trust, loyalty to be formed among the people around them; both sides should show the same morality. They give such an importance to their own desires as "people should be understanding towards me", "there should not be any mistake about the love, respect, trust felt towards me", "people should be forgiving, forbearing and tolerant towards me", "the softest, most calming, most beautiful manner should be adopted towards me", that they almost become obsessions. However if people around them demand only one of those, they would be convinced that this is an exaggerated and unnecessary demand; that they are already showing sufficiently positive manners towards them and that it is irritating for people to approach them with suspect in spite of all those. As a result of this they act very reluctant and very procrastinating about fulfilling such demands.  Or even if they find such expectations of people around them to be reasonable, they work out a logic stating "first I want to be treated this way, then I would treat them the way they want anyway."

This is an approach stemming from the selfishness of people. Whereas a person should live by the model that he, himself, is in search of.  If he sees what he lives by, as the correct model, then he should not be uncomfortable to find a person just like him next to him.  For instance if he is inconsiderate, tactless, angry, selfish, egocentric, tough mannered and intolerant, and if there is nothing wrong or nothing damaging about those attributes according to his mind, then he should not see any problem in a person who he will become friends with to have such a morality.  But such a person would never want his friends to have those attributes. However if he is a person who sees tolerance, compassion, kindness, understanding and patience as good attributes, then before everyone else he should be living by those himself.

Examples regarding this point are frequently seen in the society. However in the ignorant societies, since everyone has his own set of rules, his own understanding of morality, his own rights and wrongs; it is not possible for them to reach a settlement on a mutual ground and as a result of this reaching the ideal person model they have been searching for, would not be possible.  

However this situation is very different for Muslims. All Muslims have one and common criteria and that is the Qur'an.  And the ideal model in the souls of people is the morality of the Muslim depicted in the Qur'an. Consequently the person, Muslims are in search of, is the "person with the most taqwa".  And when one demands such attributes from the other, it would not be possible for the other party to object, procrastinate or see them as unnecessary. That is because these are the necessities of the morality of the Qur'an.  

Therefore if a Muslim completely abides by the Qur'an, by the leave of Allah, he might attain that ideal character in his mind. Likewise he can easily find the morality he searches in the people around him, in Muslims.  

As for the Muslims, the point that needs to be noted is that they never "see themselves sufficient" and never forget that "no matter how good morals they display, there is always a better in every subject for everything". One might really be very compassionate, very honest, very hardworking, full of love or very easygoing. However he can always be more compassionate, more honest, more hard-working, more full of love and more easygoing. This is because no matter how good the other person is, he might always be asking the other to be better in many subjects. Consequently a Muslim should also accept the fact that just like him the other Muslims around him might have such expectations as well.  

Another important point that should not be forgotten by Muslims is that "instead of asking for the other to show him that ideal morality, he should be the first to implement them". He should understand that this might be an important necessity for others just as well.  And seeing that he knows this "ideal morality" with all the details and considers them as very important to become friends with that person; he should know that others need all these details to become friends with him, to trust him and to love him with a profound love just as well.  Understanding that it is a very rightful and necessary demand, -for the approval of Allah- he should implement this ideal morality right away and be a role model for all the others.  

By the leave of Allah, when one lives by all the good morality attributes defined in the Qur'an, as a reward for that insha'Allah Allah would bestow beauty, goodness and blessings upon him from the people around him.


When those who have taqwa of Allah are asked, ‘What has your Lord sent down?’ their reply is, ‘Good!’ There is good in the dunya for those who do good, and the abode of the akhira is even better. How wonderful is the abode of those who have taqwa.
(Surat An-Nahl:30)

Anyone who acts rightly, male or female, being a mumin, We will give them a good life and We will recompense them according to the best of what they did.
(Surat An-Nahl: 97)


2010-08-05 07:53:01

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