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To Whom Do Believers Show Compassion and Mercy?
Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, and those who are
with him are fierce to the disbelievers, merciful to one another. You
see them bowing and prostrating, seeking Allah's good favour and His pleasure.
Their mark is on their faces, the traces of prostration… (Surat al-Fath:
29)
On every issue, the Qur'an, the only guide that "discriminates between
right and wrong" lays down the mode of behaviour for believers. In the
Qur'an, real compassion, and to whom and under which conditions believers
are to show mercy are all made explicit. The following section deals with
these topics.
Mercy Shown Towards Believers
Allah clarifies in the Qur'an that Muhammad, may Allah bless him and
grant him peace, is His Messenger and that "those
who are with him are fierce to the disbelievers, merciful to one another".
(Surat al-Fath: 29)
As this verse makes explicit, the people to whom believers show compassion
are again believers, that is, those who have faith in Allah and who fear
Him. One and above all else, they fulfil this as a command of Allah. This
aside, seeing a believer's love for Allah, his elevated morality and his
striving to earn Allah's approval and the exemplary morality he displays
inspires a natural love, mercy and compassion in other believers' hearts.
As is expressed in this verse, "Your friend is only
Allah and His Messenger and those who believe: those who establish prayer
and pay the welfare tax, and bow" (Surat al-Ma'ida: 55), believers
know that they are the guardians of one another and act with the sincerity
and fondness this acknowledgement brings. These attributes are expressed
in another verse as follows:
The men and women of the believers are friends of one
another. They command what is right and forbid what is wrong, and establish
prayer and pay the welfare tax, and obey Allah and His Messenger. They
are the people on whom Allah will have mercy. Allah is Almighty, All-Wise.
(Surat at-Tawba: 71)
The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, also told believers,
"You will not be true believers until you are merciful with one another."(Bukhari
and Muslim)
Thus, having this concept of friendship, believers aspire to eliminate
all factors likely to cause trouble for one another and to create a peaceable
and comfortable environment. They are aware that their brothers are weak
servants of Allah like themselves. They acknowledge that they are apt
to make mistakes, to commit errors of memory or to be forgetful. Therefore,
they are never seized by feelings of anger or mercilessness and compassionately
encourage one another to do good.
Nevertheless, Allah orders believers to be "fierce" to the disbelievers.
That is because disbelievers struggle with the religion of Allah and even
try to prevent people from living by it. This being the case, showing
mercy to such people means turning a blind eye to the harm they are likely
to do to religion. This is an utterly unacceptable situation with which
believers would severely struggle until the end of their lives. Accordingly,
they feel compassion towards sincere believers who fear Allah and who
strive to earn Allah's approbation.
Compassion Shown Towards Those Who Emigrated
in the Way of Allah
In the Qur'an, the emigrants are defined as those "who
were driven from their homes and wealth desiring the favour and the pleasure
of Allah and supporting Allah and His Messenger". (Surat al-Hashr: 9)
In another verse, it is stated that these people had been expelled from
their homes without any right only because they said:
"Our Lord is Allah". (Surat al-Hajj: 40)
Allah assigned believers to protect those who migrated in the way of
Allah and informed them that these people were the guardians and friends
of one another:
Those who believe and have migrated and struggled with
their wealth and themselves in the Way of Allah, and those who have given
refuge and help, they are the friends and protectors of one another… (Surat
al-Anfal: 72)
Believers, whom Allah characterizes as those who "give refuge", extend
their help to those who, leaving everything they owned behind, take refuge
with them, although they had no prior acquaintance with them. Neither
the wealth, nor the status, nor the occupations of the refugees have any
importance for them, since they only help because they say they have faith
in Allah. Leaving this aside, they have no expectations from them, whether
immediate or long-term. Their purpose is to earn Allah's approval and
therefore, they expect their rewards only from Allah.
The support provided by believers to those emigrants is a sign of their
elevated morality and understanding of mercy. Yet, they essentially display
this morality because it is a command of Allah. This obligation of believers
is related in the following verse:
Let not those of you who possess affluence and ample
wealth ever become remiss in helping (the erring ones among) their relatives
and the very poor and those who have migrated in the way of Allah. They
should rather pardon and overlook. Would you not love Allah to forgive
you? Allah is Ever-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Surat an-Nur: 22)
In compliance with this command of Allah, believers accept those who
flee their homes as their "brothers" and demonstrate a deep compassion
for them. They share all their earnings with them, care for them and provide
them with shelter. To make them feel at home and to ease their trouble,
they anticipate their potential needs before they express them and try
to meet them.
However, what is most important is that believers make all these sacrifices
voluntarily, without feeling any distress. If necessary, they offer their
own food, clothing and even their homes to the refugees even if they themselves
are in need and this never causes them any uneasiness. Indeed, the fellow
feeling they show to those who migrate soothes their conscience. It pleases
them greatly to display such morality as pleases Allah. The morality of
such believers is described in the following verse:
Those who were already settled in the abode, and in faith,
before they came, love those who have migrated to them and do not find
in their hearts any need for what they have been given and prefer them
to themselves even if they themselves are needy. It is the people who
are safe-guarded from the avarice of their own selves who are successful.
(Surat al-Hashr: 9)
Allah informs us that these people "are successful", because of their
sublime morality. Glad tidings are given in another verse to those who
display such attitudes as are most favoured by Allah towards the emigrants
only to gain Allah's approval:
…Those who have given refuge and help (to those
who have migrated), they are the true believers. They will have forgiveness
and generous provision. (Surat al-Anfal: 74)
Compassion Shown for Parents
Doing good and showing compassion for parents are clear commands that
have been repeated in many verses of the Qur'an:
We have instructed man to honour his parents… (Surat
al-'Ankabut: 8)
We have instructed man to be good to his parents… (Surat
al-Ahqaf: 15)
Your Lord has decreed that you should worship
none but Him, and that you should show kindness to your parents. Whether
one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say "Ugh!" to them
out of irritation and do not be harsh with them but speak to them with
gentleness and generosity. Take them under your wing, out of mercy, with
due humility and say: "Lord, show mercy to them as they did in looking
after me when I was small". (Surat al-Isra': 23-24 )
In compliance with the commands of Allah, believers show a compassionate
attitude towards their parents who grow old and need care.
The above verse also explains the extent to which a believer must show
compassion to his parents. With the admonition, "do
not say 'Ugh!' to them out of irritation and do not be harsh with them
but speak to them with gentleness and generosity" (Surat al-Isra': 23),
Allah prohibits believers from adopting a disrespectful manner or even
a merciless attitude. Therefore, believers behave very kindly and compassionately
towards their parents who grow old and become weak. They do their best
to make them feel comfortable and always respect them. Considering the
difficulties and distress old age is likely to bring, they anticipate
all their needs. This aside, they never stop being tender-hearted and
respectful in their manner, no matter what the circumstances. On this
matter, a hadith of the Prophet (says):
I asked, "Messenger of Allah, to whom should I be dutiful?" He replied,
"Your mother"...."Then to whom should I be dutiful?" He replied, "Your
father,and then the next closest relative and then the next". (Bukhari,
Muslim)
However, there is a different kind of situation which a believer is likely
to encounter regarding his parents; it may well be that the parents of
a believer might have chosen the path of disbelief. The attitude a believer
has to adopt in such a case would be to graciously and tolerantly summon
them back to the right path. The dialogue between the Prophet Ibrahim,
peace be upon him, and his father is exemplary in the sense of the manner
to be adopted and the attitude to be assumed. When the Prophet Ibrahim
wanted his father to desist from worshipping idols, he addressed him thus:
Mention Ibrahim in the Book. He was a true man and a prophet.
Remember when he said to his father, "Father, why do you worship what
can neither hear nor see and is not of any use to you at all?
Father, knowledge which never reached you has come to me, so follow me
and I will guide you to the right path.
Father, do not worship Devil. Devil was disobedient to the All-Merciful.
Father, I am afraid that a punishment from the All-Merciful
will afflict you, and turn you into a comrade of Devil". (Surah Maryam:
41-45)
However, as is in the case of the Prophet Ibrahim's father, there may
be certain people who remain indifferent to an exhortation made in a kind
and respectful manner. In the face of such indifference however, in compliance
with Allah's command, believers must still maintain their reverent and
compassionate attitude towards their old and needy parents. Nevertheless,
they do not respect or obey their ideas, since they (their parents) live
by the principles of a perverted system of beliefs. The unique guide to
the true path for a believer is Allah's commands and Allah explains the
attitude a believer must adopt in such a situation in this way:
But if they try to make you associate something
with Me about which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. Keep company
with them correctly and courteously in this world but follow the Way of
him who turns to Me. Then you will return to Me and I will inform you
about the things you did. (Surah Luqman: 15)
Kindness Shown to Travellers
The attitude assumed towards travellers is another manifestation of the
beneficence of believers. Believers provide all forms of material and
spiritual support to wayfarers, who, for one reason or another, have difficulty
in reaching their final destination, and they ensure that they arrive
there safe and sound. Meanwhile, they consider the potential difficulties
and troubles they are to encounter, take effective steps to eliminate
them, and provide all other necessary assistance. This obligation, which
Allah imposes on believers, is stated in the Qur'an as follows:
… (Be good to) travellers and your slaves. Allah does
not love anyone vain or boastful. (Surat an-Nisa': 36)
The offerings given for the sake of Allah is for the
poor, the destitute, those who collect it, reconciling people's hearts,
freeing slaves, those in debt, spending in the Way of Allah, and travellers.
It is a legal obligation from Allah. Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise. (Surat
at-Tawba: 60)
In the above verses, Allah commands believers to "be good" to these people
apart from the material support they offer. Given the elevated values
of the Qur'an, it is easy for believers to know-as a matter of conscience-how
to "do good" and they take great pleasure in displaying these good manners.
They think about the possible needs of a wayfarer and accordingly assume
a naturally sensitive attitude towards them.
These commands of Allah also reveal the understanding of responsibility
and the humane qualities instilled in believers by the Qur'an. Believers,
who take upon themselves the responsibility for a wayfarer, never remain
heedless towards incidents taking place around them. Towards one who needs
help, they never assume an inhumane attitude or say, "He is someone I
have never met before", "This is none of my business", or "I don't care
a bit how he copes with this situation".
They care for the needy and support them with whatever means Allah has
bestowed upon them. If they lack the material means to provide the necessary
support, they still do not leave them to their own devices, but seek solutions
on their behalf. Indeed, in most cases, they put up a far better effort
than the needy person himself and continue to deal with the matter until
all problems are entirely resolved and needs are satisfactorily met.
This morality and compassion displayed by believers stem from their attachment
to Allah which is marked by a profound love for and fear of Him. It is
again because of this attachment that believers meticulously comply with
the values of the Qur'an.
Compassion Shown Towards the Poor
Some people in societies indifferent to religion consider themselves
to be highly sensitive to the needs of the poor. However, the attitude
these people assume towards the poor is only a matter of habit. Sensitivity
in its real sense appears only when people fully comply with the commands
of the Qur'an.
Believers meticulously fulfil the commands of the Qur'an regarding the
poor out of their fear of Allah. They do this because it is a command
of Allah and because this is what their understanding of mercy and their
conscience tell them to do. Believers are thus zealous in making all kinds
of sacrifices of their own free will.
In Surat at-Tawba, verse 60, the poor are specified among those to whom
alms must be given. According to this verse, giving alms to the poor becomes
an obligation for believers. In the verse, "And
beggars and the destitute received a due share of their wealth" (Surat
adh-Dhariyat: 19), Allah makes it clear that alms must be given
not only to those who openly express their indigence but also to those
who refrain from doing so because of their nobility of character.
In the following verse Allah elaborates upon the situation of the latter
class of people.
It (Charity) is for the poor who are held back in the
Way of Allah, unable to travel in the land. The ignorant consider them
rich because of their reticence. You will know them by their mark. They
do not ask from people insistently. Whatever good you give away, Allah
knows it. (Surat al-Baqara: 273)
As is expressed in the above verse, such people refrain from importuning
others for help. However, believers, as a matter of conscience and compassion,
recognise the indigence of these people and offer them support to meet
their needs. If necessary, they give precedence to the needs of these
people over their own. In accordance with the hadith of Allah's Messenger,
"Blessed is the wealth of a Muslim from which he gives to the poor, the
orphans and to needy travelers" (Bukhari), they know that this is good
for them. The Qur'an describes this noble understanding of mercy which
is peculiar to believers as follows:
They give food, despite their love for it, to the poor
and orphans and captives, (saying): "We feed you only out of desire for
the Face of Allah. We do not want any repayment from you or any thanks".
(Surat al-Insan: 8-9)
As is evident, believers never try to make others feel indebted because
of the compassion they demonstrate or the help they offer, nor do they
even expect to be thanked. Their true aim is to try to gain Allah's approval
by means of the morality they display. That is because they know that
they will be called to account for that morality on the Day of Judgment,
and giving alms to the poor is a deed about which they will be questioned.
In the Qur'an, Allah has expressly revealed that hell will be the destination
of those who knowingly refuse to comply with His commands. It is said
that the righteous will ask the sinners:
"What caused you to be scorched?"
They will say, "We were not among those who did prayer
and we did not feed the poor. (Surat al-Muddaththir: 42-44)
(Allah commands:) "Seize him and truss him up."
Then roast him in the Blazing Fire.
Then bind him in a chain which is seventy cubits long.
He used not to believe in Allah the Magnificent, nor
did he urge the feeding of the poor." (Surat al-Haqqa: 30-34)
People's failing to encourage one another to support the poor singles
them out for the ignoble end of being cast into hell. On this, the Almighty
specifies who wrongdoers are:
Have you seen him who denies the religion?
He is the one who harshly rebuffs the orphan and does
not urge the feeding of the poor. (Surat al-Ma'un: 1-3)
"Nor do you urge the feeding of the poor." (Surat al-Fajr:
18)
This aside, the compassion shown by believers to the poor is not limited
to material support. In compliance with the verse "…Be
good to your parents and relatives and to orphans and the very poor, and
to neighbours who are related to you and neighbours who are not related
to you, and to companions and travellers and your slaves". (Surat an-Nisa':
36), believers are kind and respectful towards the poor. In yet
another verse, Allah commands believers to be forgiving and tolerant to
the poor:
Let not those of you who possess affluence and ample
wealth ever become remiss in helping (the erring ones among) their relatives
and the very poor and those who have migrated in the way of Allah. They
should rather pardon and overlook. Would you not love Allah to forgive
you? Allah is Ever-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Surat an-Nur: 22)
As is evident, the high morality with which believers deal with the poor
also manifests their mercy. Aware that the ultimate Owner of everything
is Allah alone, believers acknowledge that everyone is poor before Allah's
wealth and thus also approach the poor with affection and compassion.
Mercy Shown to Orphans
Orphans must be treated not with harshness but with beneficence
The mercifulness of believers may also be observed in their approach
to orphans. The noblest of attitudes that must be shown to orphans, who
need the care and interest of others because they have lost their parents,
are made explicit in the Qur'an. One of the exemplary attitudes believers
meticulously adopt is "to do good" to orphans and "never to treat them
harshly".
In societies in which the values of the Qur'an are not observed, no system
has been devised to protect the rights of orphans or to secure their future.
Protection, such as it is, depends upon the conscience of the people.
For this reason, some ill-intentioned individuals may try to benefit from
the lack of experience and ignorance of these children. Indeed, having
no one to protect their rights, orphans can readily become subject to
abusive treatment at the hands of those who have taken it upon themselves
to care for them. Such people may expect orphans to feel gratitude because
they have taken them under their wing or they may reproachfully remind
them of the kindnesses they have done them. On the other hand, subjecting
them to a different kind of treatment, they may oppress these children
in both the physical and the spiritual sense. Nevertheless, Allah prohibits
subjecting orphans to harsh treatment and condemns those who mistreat
them:
Have you seen him who denies the religion?
He is the one who harshly rebuffs the orphan
and does not urge the feeding of the poor.
So woe to those who do prayer,
and are forgetful of their prayer,
those who show off
and deny help to others. (Surat al-Ma'un: 1-7)
Contrary to such offensive treatment, Qur'anic morality demands tolerant
and compassionate treatment of orphans as expressed in the verse, "(be
good to) orphans and the very poor. And speak good words to people". (Surat
al-Baqara: 83) Believers meticulously observe this command. Their
conscience and understanding of humanity entail the protection of orphans
who need help and care, and the meeting of all their spiritual and material
needs. Believers never oppress orphans, expect them to appreciate their
kindness or strive to obtain any material or spiritual benefits from them.
On the contrary, they protect their rights and adopt the best possible
attitude. Their strong sense of what is right, their profound fear of
Allah and their compassion account for this meticulousness.
Improving the situation in life of orphans and bringing
them up
as decent individuals
…They will ask you about the property of orphans. Say,
"Managing it in their best interests is best". If you mix your property
with theirs, they are your brothers… (Surat al-Baqara: 220)
As is implied in the above verse, Allah advises believers to bring orphans
up as decent individuals. Believers show keenness to take this responsibility
upon themselves and do their best to educate them in the best way possible.
However, the most important responsibility of a person who takes a child
under his protection is to instil in him the noble values of the Qur'an
and to make him regard Allah with due appreciation. That is because, these
are the most important issues that guide the individual to truth and salvation.
A child develops moral sense in the light of the knowledge he acquires
in his early years and is accordingly prepared for his eternal life in
the hereafter. For this reason, this is the most important issue to which
a believer pays attention while an orphan under his care is being educated.
He does his utmost to ensure that he or she has superior values as a believer.
No doubt, this is only made possible by his living by the values of the
Qur'an himself. Abiding by Islamic ethics ensures that orphans grow up
into decent, intelligent, hard-working individuals.
Protection of orphans' property
Allah issues a stern warning to those who misappropriate the wealth of
orphans:
People who consume the property of orphans wrongfully
consume nothing in their bellies except fire. They will roast in a Searing
Blaze. (Surat an-Nisa': 10)
In compliance with the above verse, believers who assume the responsibility
for an orphan do not spend that orphan's personal wealth for their own
needs or expect anything in return. On the contrary, giving them priority
over all others, they protect the rights and wealth of such orphans as
are entrusted to them by Allah.
Being meticulous about protecting the wealth of an orphan entrusted to
one's care is something peculiar to those who are sincere in their faith,
who have a high standard of morality and who grasp the understanding of
mercy described in the Qur'an, especially since a guardian is granted
the authority to spend the wealth of an orphan. Not spending a penny for
one's own personal needs out of a property entrusted to one-despite having
the authority to spend from it is truly a matter of conscience. In the
Qur'an, Allah advises the wealthy guardian to behave decently in this
matter. If the guardian in question is poor, then he is allowed to spend
within the due limits specified in the Qur'an. Believers who fear Allah
and who are aware of the Day of Judgement behave in a manner in His eyes,
most in keeping with the dictates of the conscience, and in observance
of the Prophet's warning "Whoever is not merciful towards people, will
not be treated mercifully by Allah." (Ahmad). That is because, Allah warns
that, "devouring" the wealth of the orphan is a grave sin.
Give orphans their property, and do not substitute bad
things for good. Do not assimilate their property into your own. Doing
that is a serious crime. (Surat an-Nisa': 2)
Fearing Allah and His grievous punishment in the hereafter, believers
carefully conserve the wealth of orphans until they reach intellectual
maturity. When orphans grow old and mature enough to exercise rational
and healthy judgement, believers hand over their property to them. The
conditions of this are specified in the Qur'an as follows:
Keep a close check on orphans until they reach a marriageable
age, then if you perceive that they have sound judgement hand over their
property to them. Do not consume it extravagantly and precipitately before
they come of age. Those who are wealthy should abstain from it altogether.
Those who are poor should use it sensibly and correctly. When you hand
over their property to them ensure that there are witnesses on their behalf.
Allah suffices as a Reckoner. (Surat an-Nisa': 6)
Believers comply exactly with all these commands relating to the care
and education of orphans. A comparison made between the way people in
societies distant from religion treat orphans and the attitude of believers
shows the nobleness of Qur'anic morality.
Mercy Shown to Debtors
Another very good example of the mercy peculiar to believers is the attitude
they assume towards debtors. Allah relates the proper attitude one has
to adopt to debtors in the following verse:
If someone is in difficult circumstances, there should
be a deferral until things are easier. But making a free gift of it would
be better for you if you only knew. (Surat al-Baqara: 280)
Believers adopt an entirely compassionate and sensible attitude to one
who is in difficulty over paying his debts. A believer, above all, is
a person of wisdom and high conscience. Thus, he can very well understand
what a person in debt goes through and accordingly assumes the most conscientious
and compassionate attitude possible.
No doubt, debt is an important liability to take on, involving as it
does a promise given to another party. Indeed, in numerous verses, Allah
commands people to keep their promises. However, according to the above
verse, when a debt is at issue, decision about its settlement, rests entirely
with the creditor. The creditor can postpone repayment until the debtor
is in better financial conditions. However, Allah stresses that it is
better for a believer to waive the debt and consider it as alms.
The Prophet Muhammad, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, had this
to say on the behaviour of the creditor:
"Who gives respite to a debtor or grants him remission, Allah will give
him shade under His shade". (Muslim)
Nevertheless, there is one important point to consider here: The believer
may exercise this right only when he believes in the honesty of the other
party. This is not a procedure to follow for a debtor with a fraudulent
mentality. Otherwise, people bereft of a sincere fear of Allah may attempt
to defraud people of good faith who have good intentions.
At this point, a believer simply relies on his conscience and wisdom,
and obeys this command of the Qur'an when he feels the other party is
decent and has sincere intentions.
Mercy Shown to Those Whose Hearts are to be Reconciled
The offerings given for the sake of Allah is for the
poor, the destitute, those who collect it, reconciling people's hearts,
freeing slaves, those in debt, spending in the Way of Allah, and travellers.
It is a legal obligation from Allah. Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise. (Surat
at-Tawba: 60)
In the Qur'an, reference is made to a group of people "whose hearts are
to be reconciled". These are the people who have recently started learning
about Islam or who have no knowledge of religion at all, but for whom
efforts are made to encourage them to have faith.
Believers who acknowledge the perfection of the religion Allah has chosen
for mankind and witness its being the unique system in consonance with
their creation, also wish others to live by this beautiful system. This
aside, aware that all people will be called to give an account of their
deeds on the Day of Judgement, they strive to warn them and summon them
to the true path while there is still time. That is because, they know
that the only way to attain salvation both in this world and beyond is
to live by the guidelines of Islam. Allah commands believers to communicate
His religion to the people. These virtues of believers are related in
the Qur'an as follows:
You are the best nation ever to be produced before mankind.
You enjoin the right, forbid the wrong and believe in Allah. (Surah Al
'Imran: 110)
Believers take every opportunity to save people from a life which is
distant from religion and to protect them from hell. They encourage them
to do good and try to prevent them from engaging in wicked deeds. They
aim to save such people as are on the brink of an abyss because of their
ignorance. Allah thus describes the situation of these people before committing
themselves to religion:
…You were on the very brink of a pit of the Fire and
He rescued you from it. In this way Allah makes His Signs clear to you,
so that hopefully you will be guided. (Surah Al 'Imran: 103)
Believers, who are very well aware of the torment an irreligious life
brings to man, try various ways of making people embrace Allah's religion
and thus save them from the situation they are in. They make any sacrifice,
both material and spiritual, to communicate their religion to those "whose
hearts are to be reconciled". The Qur'an typifies as "alms" everything
spent for the purpose of propagating religion. This is the kind of spending
which will be rewarded generously in the sight of Allah. Indeed, having
faith in Allah means being saved from the torment of hell and attaining
an eternal life in paradise. The believers' understanding of mercy, stemming
from their fear of Allah, entails spending without expecting anything
in return. That is because, for believers, there exist no such benefits
as would be received in return for such spending. Furthermore, when needed,
they put restrictions on their own needs or make other sacrifices to be
able to offer this help. Meanwhile, we have to keep in mind that there
is always the possibility that these people whose hearts are to be reconciled
might never agree to embrace Islam. Even if this is the case, none of
the efforts of a believer go unnoticed; he will be rewarded most bountifully
in the hereafter. Throughout history, all messengers who were assigned
to proclaiming the divine message, gave expression to this truth:
My people! I do not ask you for any wage for it. My wage
is the responsibility of Him who brought me into being. So will you not
use your intellect? (Surah Hud: 51)
Say: "I do not ask you for any wage for it-only that
anyone who wants to should make his way towards his Lord". (Surat al-Furqan:
57)
Compassion Shown to Women Providing maintenance
for divorced women
Allah states in the Qur'an that providing maintenance for divorced women
is an obligation for all men of faith:
Divorced women should receive maintenance given with
correctness and courtesy: a duty for all who believe. (Surat al-Baqara:
241)
The amount of the maintenance is to be determined by mutual agreement
of the involved parties. While determining this amount, believers assume
a conscientious attitude and take into account the social status and the
needs of the woman. The appropriate behaviour Allah recommends believers
is stated as follows:
… But give them a gift-he who is wealthy according to
his means and he who is less well off according to his means-a gift to
be given with correctness and courtesy: a duty for all good-doers. (Surat
al-Baqara: 236)
He who has plenty should spend out from his plenty, but
he whose provision is restricted should spend from what Allah has given
him. Allah does not demand from any self more than He has given it. Allah
will appoint after difficulty, ease. (Surat at-Talaq: 7)
Whether well-off or poor, Allah commands believers to support women in
a manner commensurate with their own means. In societies which do not
live by the values of religion, generously supporting an ex-wife, from
whom one can no longer derive any benefits, is regarded as vain spending.
This being so, the people in question try to give the minimum alimony
possible and to this end even resort to fraudulence. However, guided by
his conscience and his compassion, a believer never reneges on such an
obligation. After all, he performs this duty as a good deed which will
earn him the approval of Allah. That he has no further expectations from
her or that she has fallen in his estimation, never influences his attitude.
Besides, his humane feelings and compassion incline him to support a person
who is in need. For that reason, those who are well-off make adequate
provision for divorced women to have a good standard of living. Similarly,
a poor person does not shirk this responsibility, by saying, "I have insufficient
means"; he fulfils this responsibility in the best way he can.
Not taking back the properties given to women after divorce
If you desire to exchange one wife for another and have
given your original wife a large amount, do not take any of it. Would
you take it by means of slander and outright crime? How could you take
it when you have been intimate with one another and they have made a binding
contract with you? (Surat an-Nisa': 20-21)
In compliance with the command implicit in the above verses, upon the
decision to divorce, a man of faith makes no request whatsoever to take
back the properties he formerly gave to his wife. That is because these
properties were meant to be a safeguard for the woman and their loss may
put her in difficulty. To prevent such an undesirable situation, Allah
imposes this condition upon male believers, thereby securing the social
well-being of women.
Besides, the extent of this property does not lessen the obligation this
verse imposes upon a man. Even if a believing man has given all his possessions
to his spouse, he does not request the return of anything after separation.
As is evident, these commands of the Qur'an make manifest the superiority
of the understanding of mercy the Qur'an offers to believers. At the cost
of placing themselves in difficulties, believers never depart from the
Qur'anic notion of mercy conveyed in these verses, and fully comply with
it.
Setting divorced women free with liberality
In societies distant from religion, divorce often becomes a source of
unrest and disagreements. This may be accounted for by the failure of
the parties to reach a compromise. The two sides usually voice their own
requests and claims and no criteria exist to judge their validity. The
absence of these criteria leads to many disagreements and disputes.
The lives of believers are quite different from those of the members
of unenlightened societies. Unlike disbelievers, they have a guide that
directs every moment of their lives and gives the best decision on their
behalf. This guide is the Qur'an, a blessing from Allah. People who comply
with the Qur'an share exactly the same views and way of thinking; that
is, they agree on the same rights, wrongs, demands and claims. Furthermore,
since this common understanding rests upon the just Book Allah has revealed,
only the best results ensue. People who initially establish their bonds
upon such an understanding also display a compromising mood when they
have to divorce.
Events and conditions may change but what matters for believers is to
live by the principles of religion and to show such moral perfection as
will please Allah. Having such a noble spirit, when divorce is in question,
believers never cease to treat the other party with respect, mercy and
kindness, also observing the Prophet Muhammad's counsel, "The best of
you are those who are best in dealing with their wives." (Tirmidhi). In
the following verse Allah describes the behaviour expected from believers:
When you divorce women and they are near the end of their
waiting period , then either retain them with correctness and courtesy
or release them with correctness and courtesy. Do not retain them by force,
thus overstepping the limits. Anyone who does that has wronged himself…
(Surat al-Baqara: 231)
In obedience to this decree of Allah, believers terminate their marriages
with the same good intentions as they had when they initially married.
With divorce, men never lose the respect they had for their wives. In
this sense, divorce never becomes a cause to dispute or to hurt one another.
Believers marry to earn the approval of Allah and divorce with the same
intention. Therefore, neither by his words nor his acts does a believer
put the woman he divorces in a difficult situation. Furthermore, since
believers love other believers for their faith and moral perfection, the
love and respect spouses feel for one another never disappear with divorce.
Lodging divorced women
Thanks to the merciful attitude the Qur'an enjoins upon man, believers
do not leave the women they divorce in a desperate situation without providing
them with adequate means to live. Women may not have a family that can
take care of them or even a house in which to stay. Considering these
and similar conditions, believers, although divorced, ensure the welfare
of women, until they find a way to support themselves.
Upon their mutual decision, believers allow the women they divorce to
live in their own houses or in some other place under their control. Their
main intention here is to earn the approval of Allah and to display a
compassionate attitude to another believer. Other than this, they have
no other expectation. During this period, Allah recommends that believing
men should not engage in any deed which would do any harm to women they
divorced or put them in a difficult situation. This affectionate approach
displayed towards women is explained in the verse below:
Let them live where you live, according to your means.
Do not put pressure on them, so as to harass them. If they are pregnant,
maintain them until they give birth. If they are suckling for you, give
them their wages and consult together with correctness and courtesy. But
if you make things difficult for one another, another woman should do
the suckling for you. (Surat at-Talaq: 6)
The second part of the verse recommends that believers display moral
perfection while settling any problems that may arise after divorce, and
that they resolve all disputes in compliance with Islamic rules. The values
that ensure such a settlement no doubt stem from the fear of Allah a person
harbours in his heart, and conscience. Believers, who value a person primarily
because of his or her faith, can in no way allow anything harmful to happen
to him or her, nor can they put that person in a difficult situation.
To come up to this standard of moral perfection, men of faith provide
lodging to and otherwise meet the needs of their divorced wives, as long
as they ask for such support.
Not inheriting women against their will
You who believe! It is not lawful for you to inherit
women by force. Nor may you treat them harshly so that you can make off
with part of what you have given them, unless they commit an act of flagrant
indecency. Live together with them correctly and courteously… (Surat an-Nisa':
19)
Allah warns believers against inheriting women against their will, except
in situations in which women commit an explicit indecency. Never exerting
any pressure on women, believing men allow women to make use of their
possessions in any way they please after divorce.
However, we must bear in mind that, being so scrupulous comes from observing
Qur'anic morality. Due to believers' adherence to Qur'anic principles
firmly based on the fear of Allah, there is no diminution of the mercy
shown by them to women, no matter what the circumstances. Indeed, even
in an environment where there is no one to bear witness to their conduct,
their compassionate attitude never alters. Aware that Allah witnesses
every deed they do, believers commit themselves to never swerving from
moral perfection.
In the Qur'an, there are numerous other verses about the measures that
secure the protection of women with compassion and the prevention of their
suffering. All these explicitly reveal how Qur'anic morality encourages
the showing of mercy to women and how believers commit themselves to displaying
this noble attitude.
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